Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
whose parrot is this?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
