remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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