Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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