thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
