Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
