He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I understand Curling. That high.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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