You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
