why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize