if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
