is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
