The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
