What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
