when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize