Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
