He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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