Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
