I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
