Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
