Ambien. No doubt about it.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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