So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
