How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
