He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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