his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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