I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize