He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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