Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
