I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
