You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
what day is it and did you see me today?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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