dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
it's great music for shaving your balls
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
