Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
