Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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