i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Still dying that you shit outside
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
