literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
do nipples grow back?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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