So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize