i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
