You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
