Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
