I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Randomize
