love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
