I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
