remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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