After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
