Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
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