Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
