we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize