what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
