I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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