What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
