She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
