if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize