Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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