Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
