Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
