sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
