Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
