You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm too high and old for this...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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