she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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