she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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