if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
