Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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