barbara walters just said penis...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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