shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
