you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
